Friday, July 14, 2006

Fast Forward... almost 4 months and 30+ lbs. later; here she is! This is that cute little puppy that some many know and love. She is already dragging me around and I need some SERIOUS training so that I know how to cope with this new stage of life with me and my fuzzy friend! If I could just get her to stop jumpping and biting me, life would be good. :) I took this picture with my cell phone so it's a little blurry.

She is a good puppy and full of more engergy than me that is for sure! She still likes to sleep in crazy twisty shapes.

The rest of the 'Fast Forward' is that I have quit my job and I don't know what is next. If I don't find something else here then I will possibly be moving again. I'll save the details for later when I have more of them and I'm not in the fast forward mode. If only I had the mind of Christ and could know what the next step is... :)

Thursday, March 23, 2006


This is 'Bear' Sheba! She is only 71/2 weeks old in this photo and weighs 15lbs!!!
She is the CUTEST!!!!
As you can see she is brave and somewhat fearless...or stupid. Seeing as how she is my dog, the later is not possible! :) Some of her favorite things to do are to play tug of war with a dog five times her size and try to eat this buddy Shane of hers. :) He must be pretty tasty!

She also likes to sleep a lot because...this is her one week later and 5LBS. HEAVIER!!! :)

I didn't realize at the time that I got a small horse. :)

Saturday, March 11, 2006


Can anyone read this?

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The Scarlet Thread...

Here are a few good quotes from that book:

"I never expected you to send me a heathern to answer my prayer.
But I reckon You do things however You please."

"So I am asking You to help us in this Great Enterprise.. We are stuck here, Lord. Help us make the best of it."

"Tears, of balm, soothing and cleansing. Cups, of plenty and sorrow. Cold to make me appreciate warmth. Manure, though I do not know if you will like me saying so. But Lord, when spread over turned ground where new seeds have been planted, it brings forth growth. Like my troubles in my life, Lord. It was Affliction and Distress that made me come to You and now I do not ever want to leave."


Stitches and Stains

The Mayor is sitting in the back seat of my bosses car today as we are all going to the Rec Center and he has his coveted Nikon camera in hand. He asks me how I am doing and I said fine except for the fact that my ear itches and I can't scratch it, because that would be bad. "Why" Then all he had to do was look and I think that he wished he hadn't. HA HA HA! Anyway, I said 'sorry I don't know how it looks because I can't see it.' He said he could take a picture and email it to me... 'GREAT! :) Would you?!' I know...Weird; but he did. Ha ha. So if he ever actually sends them to me you all can take a look too. :) You know you want to... :)

I just got finished reading another book by Francine Rivers and it was great. I'm not much into novels usually but she is gifted at drawing pictures of God's grace and truth in peoples lives that He is touching in these stories. The women in this book are pretty incredible and I think it probably has something to do with the fact that most of them had red hair! :) hee hee... They are beautiful, strong, courageous, enduring, and Stubborn! But willing and intentioned about learning from their mistakes; and it is hard, but they do it. They lean on the Lord and are changed, which is a picture that I needed to be reminded of.

I was sort of kidding about the red head comment but I have to say that I did appreciate the fact that she presented these red heads as beautiful and not the 'ugly step-sister/red headed step child' thing; which is the most typical depiction, that or a vixen/harlot. Maybe I'm paranoid, but very seldom do red heads NOT get a bad wrap. Princess Fiona was pretty good in Shrek but you have to consider that this 'cartoon' was a contradiction to all other 'fairy tales'...Satire at it's best these days. She is the only red headed Princess that I know of & she was only a weirdo about Prince Charming for a little while; which was redeemed by the fact that she was skilled in the Martial Arts... :)

My two cents...

...And yes; I'm still waiting for my Shrek.

Monday, February 27, 2006


OK...So I am sitting here eating a Krispy Kream doughnut as my reward for going to the doctor today. Actually I was in Asheville and I bought them as my reward for living in a small town that doesn't have Krispy Kream, or Starbucks, or Chipotle or Thai food, Indian food, Korean food, or Australian food for that matter! :) You have to drive at least an hour or two to get any of the things that I have mentioned; and for some of them, longer. Anyway, I went to the KK's and bought a whole dozen and I might share them with my co-workers...Maybe. :)

I just think it is funny that even as adults we play these little games with ourselves to encourage and or splurge on ones self. As if to say, "Good job Rosemary! You were such a big girl today in the doctors office while they were cutting your ear open." :) Why can't I just never have thoughts like that and just say 'I want some KK Doughnuts, even if I did have some a week ago'; and who cares where I live and how often you can get them or anything else. It's funny how we...I; I'll speak for myself, justify things. More than likely it was a hormonal depression purchase from just having picked up my new truck that BROKE and get my ear cut open all in the same day. For some crazy reason your body starts growing gross things after you turn 30! Gives me one more scar to pick up all the right men. :) Or repel all the wrong ones....or is that the other way around? :) Why can't my reward be joy for the simple fact that the Lord provided for my truck to get fixed and that the thing in my ear is probably nothing more than in internal zit and not cancerous or something. Why aren't these the things that come to my mind first? Instead I am thinking about KK Doughnuts and Starbucks and finding reasons to take my own hand and walk myself to get stuff that will be gone in a half an hour...I'm a slow eater. :)

Don't get me wrong; I know there are times for comfort items and there isn't anything wrong with eating doughnuts, and we won't talk about Starbucks; :) I just don't want it to be my first reaction. I guess that I am getting to know myself in all of these little life lessons the Lord is dishing my way and I want my first responses to be thanksgiving and joy; because I have more than I don't, and because He always makes a way even in my doubt. There isn't a need for something else...even if I feel like it sometimes; He is enough, and I think that He is trying to get that into my THICK skull! Hopefully He won't actually crack it open to do so. :) Maybe I will just be thankful that He won't; but I guess if He has be it. :)

Blah Blah Blah...

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

New LONG Post... :)

I get a little confused about how God's love works sometimes... I mean, I know He loves me; He said He did. I have to trust that right? Right. So; why is that hard sometimes, I'm not so sure.

I struggle with this when my life gets to be what seems like HARD to me, and I can't see where God's hand is in all of it...Exactly. For instance, this past weekend; I went to see two of my wonderful friends Catherine and Tricia in Brevard which is a little over two hours away from home. As most of you know I purchased a new-er truck so that I could be sure that I would make it up and down Beech Mountain everyday. Nice Truck; 36,000 miles when I purchased it, no apparent problems, newest vehicle that I have ever owned and I was very excited about it even if it meant a new car payment. I was thankful that I could afford it for the most part and I got an extended warranty so that I wouldn't have to worry about "car issues" for a while. If you know me at all you know that this is a miracle! :) Well, we decide to throw the kids in the back and take my truck to the club house for lunch on Sunday and guess what...not working!!! Something is WRONG...With my NEW TRUCK!!! I could hardly believe it! I was so ticked off about it and just tried to be calm. Catherine and Tricia and the kids and I all stopped to pray over the truck before we left for lunch in the van, it still didn't work when I got back in it later. They all had to leave at 2AM since I wouldn't be able to take Catherine and Andrew to the airport like I had promised, and I stayed to call a tow truck the next day and figure out how to get back to home & work. Thankfully I had nothing pressing scheduled for Monday and it was fine that I missed work.

Catherine and Tricia both called me the next morning and then I got up and called the warranty company to see what I needed to do to be covered; I needed to find a licensed repair facility. You would be amazed at how many repair places aren't licensed; oh, and dealerships won't take my warranty either. (Come to find out my bumper to bumper warranty doesn't cover clutch assembly anyway, which is what's wrong!!!) I called the tow truck company around 9:30am and asked them to pick me up as soon as they could because they made it sound as though it wouldn't be until later in the day. I had to go outside whenever I used my cell because it wouldn't get reception anywhere in the house for more than a minuet. I packed all my stuff in the truck and then went in to get the phone book to call other repair shops, then I decided to go sit on the screened in porch and use the table so that I had somewhere to sit and write. Smart right? It's outside, my cell should work out there, I won't have to stand and write on my knee while trying to talk on the phone.... I walk out the door with my hands full of notepad, pen, phone book, cell phone, and keys and the door shuts behind me. I put said things on table walk around, no cell service; walk back to the door...LOCKED!!! S_ _ _!!! I try the Sliding door; LOCKED. I look up and say, 'You've got to be kidding me, right!?' I guess not because I tried them again and guess what? LOCKED!!! Did I mention that it is in the low 40's. I try the key that I had in my pocket for the front door and of course it doesn't work. I start swearing under my breath and then out loud; which by the way, didn't work either. Shaking the door didn't work, ripping my credit card to pieces and trying to pick the lock didn't work, climbing up into the hole in the attic didn't work. Did I mention that I couldn't get cell service...? Every time I got a bar or two I would try to call the front gate or the tow truck company; after getting cut off about who knows how many times I just got more angry and wondered what the CRAP God wanted me to do...FREEZE???

I finally figured out that every time I got any reception was when I had set the thing on the table and as soon as I picked it up they went away; so I knelt down next to the table to try and make one more call to the tow truck worked. I was thinking to myself that if God wanted me to get on my knees all He had to do was say so, but I guess that was His way of saying so. Maybe that should have been my first response anyway. I was able to keep a signal long enough to tell them that I would need to come with the driver and my truck so could they please tell him to come IN the house to the back porch because that is where I would be...Locked on the porch... "Oh My; well I sure will tell him honey." Which is the sweet southern way of calling someone a dumb Ass! I was ok with that as long as the guy came in to let me out! After the call I just stayed there on my knees for a minute trying to calm down. I mean, God already knew that I was MAD and now I was just trying to figure out what I was supposed to be learning from all of this, and wishing that I was MacGyver, or Alias. I had resolved to sit and wait for the tow truck driver and find a little sun light so that I wasn't so cold and was able to be at least a little thankful that I had my wool sweater on and that my life wasn't nearly as bad as most people on the planet! I was having trouble with my newer truck; and so what that I didn't have anything to eat or drink for four hours...I'm not starving and never have been. I can't say that any of those reassurance stayed the thoughts that God was showing His displeasure with me for some reason.

I began to realize after a while that the tow truck driver may not show up today and I was making plans to rip the screen and jump off the two and a half story porch because I couldn't spend the night outside without getting VERY COLD; I figured I would wait a little longer before doing any damage to Mr. Hayes house, so I climbed back in the ceiling to get warm for a minute. I came back down in case the guy did show up so that I would see him and I sat in the chair in the little corner of sun and tucked my sweater as high up to my knees as I could and pulled my turtle neck up over my nose. I think I dosed off for a minuet when I heard a 'Hello' in the house and jumped up to see this little old guy in the kitchen looking at me a little funny but not coming to the door. I assumed that he was the tow truck driver but when he didn't come over to the door I asked him to open it and he asked if I was locked out...'yes.' He let me in and there was a brief confusing conversation because of my assumption and because he didn't think that I was supposed to be there. You see, he had just stopped by to drop off some paperwork for Mr. Hayes and he hadn't planned to doing that today, and all he knew was that there wasn't supposed to be anyone there and was very surprised to find the front door unlocked and some strange girl in the house. He said in his German accent, "Have you been out there long?" and I said 'Yes' and could only laugh about it. It was after 2pm at this point. He then said, "Well, the Lord was good to you then." to which my reply was 'Yes, He was!' He offered any help that he could and then left after a bit telling me that if there wasn't anything else that he could do that he would be on his way; "Except" he turned to face me..."May the Lord Bless you." ...I told him that I certainly needed that and I almost cried after he left...I'm almost crying even now. You see, the truck driver had come an hour and a half earlier and he couldn't find the house so he wouldn't have been back that day, and shortly after getting that last phone call in to the towing company the battery on my stupid phone died all I would have been jumping off the porch before dark.

About 20 minutes after he left his wife called me back to offer their home and dinner to me if I needed it and I was very appreciative! I am still amazed that these total strangers would be so kind to the girl that, for a moment, was an intruder . :) God is gracious and it's the little things like this that make feel greatly unworthy of it in all my selfishness pettiness. I can't say that I understand His ways, but one of the things that Tricia was talking about while we were together this weekend was the fact that 'His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts." I'm thankful that He is more than capable of handling my anger, and that He still choices to love me even so. I have a hard time doing so, but thankfully He is bigger than I am.

While on the porch I kept thinking that; "This is going to be really funny, later...But at the's REALLY NOT!!! :) I know that you all are getting a GREAT KICK out of it now and for that I am glad because at least it provides a laugh....and hopefully I am learning something in the process. Maybe the Lord will give me bigger things when I can learn to trust Him with the smaller... i am only dust and ashes after all

Tim...I hope this makes up for my lacking posts... :)

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Freaking Out!!!

Ok...So we are getting a lot closer to getting possession of the building which means that we are getting a lot closer to needing to "Be READY!" CRAAAAAPP!!! I can't imagine that we are going to be, but I think that my fifty+ hour weeks are getting ready to increase quite a bit. I am going to be able to hire a staff person in the next few weeks but the committee doesn't want me to hire anyone when they have "nothing to do!" I mean, if it is a sin to want to shot people I might be condemning myself on a daily basis these days. :) (I already know the answers to that) I don't know how exactly they think everything is going to get done, but it sure as HECK isn't going to be because they are going to do it.

This is the living room that is adjacent to the reception area; where I am going to be spending the rest of my life.

This is a glimpse of the fitness roomIt is a beautiful building, but I don't know how well people are going to like me when I actually try to run it like a Rec Center and not a county club! The Town Council has already approved, at the meeting that I missed last night, two events that would be serving alcohol and not even charging them to use the building! In Fact...One of them is an event for the Chamber of Commerce and they don't want to pay to use the building AND they want us to pay to host their wine & cheese social!!! These people are making me CRAZY! We don't even have the staff to run their stupid events and the Town doesn't check into anything before they go telling people they can do whatever they want in the building. I mentioned to the Manager today that I am sure that our insurance won't cover these types of events (the other is a Casino Night!) and the argument that I always get is that we are covered, in the sense that "we can only be sued to the level of our insurance!" I mean...COME ON!!! That's not limiting liability! That is creating it and then saying that they can only sue us so much! Thank goodness that my Manager is a good boss and pretty bright, and at least listened to me enough to get Sally to call the insurance company. Guess what...We won't be covered for events such as these, AT ALL!!! We would have to buy additional insurance for the events which is what I tried to tell them; I just don't know why they won't listen to me the first time and save everyone the trouble! :) My boss told me to go home until I could stop causing him trouble...Sorry pal! It's my job evidently. :) I don't think that he agrees with me.

This was me the day that I got here when I was deluded and still thought this was a good idea!

Welcome to Beech Mountain folks!!! Ha Ha! :)

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

2fer Whatever...

I never seem to get my 2fer in on Tuesdays... so here they are.

1. My house smells like I set it on fire... I didn't, but it STINKS.

2. I'm thinking about becoming a stunt woman before I loose all my super hero powers.

My head is so full of snot right now that I can't think of much else to say...

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Different Shores

Do you ever just wish that you were walking on different shores, on a different planet, under different circumstances; right in the middle of your destiny? But then maybe you are already there and you only need eyes to see.

How could you miss it?

And then God reached down from heaven and gives you heat!

Thanks; to you His hands and feet!!!

He Is good to me.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Halves or Whole

"Yes..." said the King, musing. "though a man were to be torn in two halves...though half of him turned into earth....The living half must still follow Maledil (God). For if it also lay down and became earth what hope would there be for the whole? But while one half lived, through it He might send life back into the other." ......"He gave me no assurance. No fixed land. Always one must throw oneself into the wave."

The wave is the will of God. I love the extream picture that this quote paints of the need to obey and trust no matter what happens to our 'other half'. Whatever our other half may be: a spouce, a child, a friend, circumstances, our minds, or our actual bodies; God Himself has the power to change what appears to us as death, and restore. Even if He gives no assurance, no fixed land. There is hope for wholeness...because He is able.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

What In This WORLD???

...was I thinking???

The new rumor at work is that I am dating the town manager...who happens to be SEVEN years younger than me. We went down to the rec center and because my hair was straight today so that I could trim it; it was all the sudden a date I guess! Don't mind that I just showed up to work and was doing my job. I think that is about the 6th rumor about me since I started. Some of which are that I was dating my subordinant that is married and has FIVE kids, and is also seven years younger than me; another is of course that I am GAY; OR that I am dating Jim Brooks who is about 25 years OLDER than me; and of course I am going to marry Dan, one of the police officers because we went to dinner together...four weeks ago. I'm trying to figure out which one is best to run with so that people will just stick with ONE. :) I personally can't keep track for everyone. Welcome to Beech Mountain Folks!

All of this and trying to get job postings out, and rec center blah blah blah...and I overlooked, shall we say...that I was given a budget packet that I was supposed to be working on for the past 6 weeks; that I just looked at today. Hmmmm...can you say, post traumatic stress dissorders from college term papers! Holy CRAP!!! I'm going to have to pull this one out somehow...

...I have NO idea.

Friday, February 03, 2006

So little to say

it makes a difference
when you walk in the room
with that worrisome smile
road weary perfume

but this isn’t the place
and it isn’t the time
for this beautiful delusion
that is robbing me blind

i want to know
i want to know
will it make a difference
when i go

it makes a difference
that i’m feeling this way
with plenty to think about
and so little to say

except for this confession
that is poised on my lips
i’m not letting go of God
i’m just losing my grip

i want to know
i want to know
will it keep you guessing
when i go

what is love
if love’s not my home
this is lonely
but never alone

i just want to hold you
in my gaze for awhile
so i can remember
every line around your smile

then i want to know
i want to know
will it make a difference
when I go

written by someone who expresses my emotions better than i.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

How Is It?

This whole…whatever God is up to, is a little perplexing to me I must say. I miss my friends in NOVA and hate that I am not there through all of the things that are going on right now; to carry some of the pain. I miss all those cute little kids that I loved to see rolling around on my sheep skin rug trying to get IN it; and who are much less afraid of wearing stiletto heels than I am. Hmm; I mean…what can you say to that? They are SO DANG CUTE!!!

I miss karate, and being in shape and feeling strong. I miss feeling sorta, normal…even if I wasn’t. :) So, I guess I find this whole thing about moving to North Carolina, taking on a job that is probably bigger than I can do or handle, having run-in after run-in just trying to get my job done without the support of the people that hired me, and still struggling to pay my bills makes me feel a little confused about it all.

This is when I have to remind myself: “I prayed about this, God is in control, He knows what He is doing, He won’t leave you hanging...” So; I still feel confused and I want to do what I know I need…To Enter In! Enter into His presence; hear His voice…Listen, Rest...right.

Then my question is; “How the Hell do you do that?” Some would say that I must already be on the fast track there; to hell that is, because I just used that word in a sentence. Praise God He’s not one of them because He has heard me cuss a lot lately. Ooops.

I believe it must be time for more Faith growing pains.
Other pains are much easier I think; like a broken collar bone! CAKE! :)

God is good, as always, and gives me little things; like the drive in the patrol car, and an advocate in my new boss, maybe even a new Dojo to practice in, and a free lunch in this great log cabin with the college group after church. In addition to all that…a beautiful day that I acctually spent outside unloading wood, replacing wiper blades, and cleaning out my truck to sell it…in the MOUNTAINS! Sometimes that’s all the reminder I need.

In general, in light of other things surrounding me, life is a breeze and I am thankful that I have hair for it to blow through, and that I haven’t pulled it all out.

‘Perelandra’ has been good for me to read again and know the potential of something greater; something outside of myself, so much bigger and much more simple. It’s something that will hopefully always bring me back to my only foundation and make it stronger. Bring me back to the Word.

My good friend asked me the perfect question the other day that put it all into perspective and opened my eyes again; to the point.

“How is your relationship with Jesus?”

The Matrix Super Hero

I just had to jump on the Super Hero thing before it fades into another conversation and show off my powers...Sorry it had to be you Lis! :)

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

A Neat Treat!

Ok, so I had to go to Johnson City yesterday for work and I asked my boss if I could use a Town vehicle so I didn't have to burn my gas. He talked to the Chief of Police, "Chief" to see what we could do. I go outside and Chief is cranking up the old Cherokee. As I listen to him crank it I ask him if he thinks she is going to make it to Johnson City and back; to which he answers, "umm, I'm gonna take her down the road and I'll let cha know." I laugh and go inside to get my things. A few minutes later I am on my way out the door behind Chief, thanking my boss for the beater and laughing. When I turned around I see Chief handing me the keys to the "Unmarked" Dodge Durango fully equipped with blue lights, radio, camera, etc... You get the picture! It was like I had just won the lottery or something; like a kid in a candy store! Serious stuff here! Of course my response can only be, "Chief, you are the best! I don't care what anybody else has to say about it!" :) He knowingly nodded his head and sent me on my way with only two warnings: "'IF' you turn the blue lights on make sure you turn 'OFF' the camera." Whooo Hooo! I mean...You've got to be kidding! Oh, and the other was to make sure that I locked it "because there's a Shot Gun in there. You might need it in Johnson City!" :) Hee he HEE!!! At this point I head down the road PRAYING that I will see one of my friends so that I can scare the CRAP out of them and pull them over! That would have been so GREAT!!!! I was totally giddy just thinking about it.

Unfortunately, I didn't turn the blue lights on because I was afraid that I would push the wrong buttons and be band from ever driving it again. So when I got back I asked Chief & Jerry (the BIGGEST guy on the BMPD) if they would show me how to work it for next time; they said they would be Happy to!!! YEAH! This has been one of the best perks about my job! Well, maybe the only perk, but it's a good one. Chief also said that he would try to see if he could get my civilian self in for the driving simulation, and fire arm simulation training as well!!! It is so GREAT having friends in high places.

I think I'm considering a career change... :)

Monday, January 23, 2006

Just a Glimps In

I was laughing at myself last night as I was going through the ritual of being me…funny, but scary. And after having a good laugh, the thought occurred to me that I no longer question why I’m not married!

I am a 33 year old woman lying in my ‘twin’ bed with my childhood teddy bear that I started sleeping with in college. I had my head lamp on debating which book from my night stand to read…hmmm. My pen then exploded on itself & I was trying not to get it all over my bed; so I just rubbed the brown ink into my fingers. I’m too lazy to get up! That and it about 66 degrees in my room and I’d rather keep me in my undies in my warm feather bed…with my teddy bear. My book choices are “The Scarlet Thread” by Francine Rivers, which feel on the floor and thus became last choice; a Martial Arts book about Zen & Bushido; “Blue Like Jazz” by Donald Miller; & “Perelandra” by C.S. Lewis, which is ALWAYS a good choice! So…choice made.

I convince myself (very easily) that it is a good choice for me to read at this point in time because the character of the Green Lady is a heroine of mine. I want to BE the Green Lady; confident in who she is because she knows whose she is, and comfortable in her own skin. She is simple yet profound; Strong in body and Spirit. Unafraid. Her thoughts are a conversation with God Himself; and she speaks out of His telling and knowledge. Hmmm…I can dream. So, I will read of it all again & take in the encouragement of possibilities. The potential of a woman who knows her God intimately; The God who allows this knowledge…Invites it.

Grasshoppa has much to learn; and there is a part of me that wishes that C.S. Lewis was also a Martial Artist in the midst of all his brilliance. I could use his insight on that subject. In my mind, he is in that strategic brain of his and that is all that matters. The insight is there to be had.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Just dew it.....

Ok...this is Lisa (Rosemary's blogging mentor) coercing her to get a blog. So it is with great honor and trepidation, I give you, Ms. Rosemary B.................

Meanwhile...Lisa's husband is in the background jumping off of furniture to get a 'good shot' for his blog!!! These people are addicted; but I love em! So, with that being said; I will step into these new waters lightly and say...expect little and you might get much. :)